School sponsored bullying

I don’t like bullying.   I was bullied and it has had a lasting effect on me, and so when I see bullying in life, the workplace, or in the news, it tends to touch me deeply and wind me up.  So I’m infuriated by the idiotic, criminal actions of a certain Mississippi school.  If you don’t know what I’m ranting about  you can read the shocking story here:

USA Today : Miss. prom cancelled after lesbian’s prom date request

BBC News : US School cancels prom ‘over lesbian date’

Please note a couple of things about those two stories; firstly the student’s name is not hidden, they have not been granted anonymity like the criminals mentioned in my previous posts, secondly the schools response is irrational and possibly criminal.  Let us consider the options:

1. The school could allow the prom to proceed with the student in question bringing whatever partner they like.  Some parent’s may be offended, as may some pupils, but sicne sexual orientation is a personal choice I believe the realistic response is “do what you feel is right” don’t want to see it, then stay away.
2. The school could allow the prom to proceed but ban the one student involved. This leaves the school open to being sued by every civil liberties group on the planet, and being lambasted in most world-wide media, but has little impact on those involved.
3. The school could cancel the prom as publicly as possible, while avoiding stating that the ban is “the student’s fault for not being of an acceptable sexual orientation” whilst also not denouncing personal choice.  This will produce much publicity, make the school and its associated county and state look archaic in the eyes of the world, whilst also alienating the student, publicizing their name and opening them up to a world of threats and bullying beyond the existing prejudices their sexual orientation opens them up to.

Why am I not surprised the school chose  option #3.  This is school sponsored bullying, making the student the target of every other student that thinks their prom night has been canceled because of this one persons lifestyle and not the schools narrow mindedness.

I think Constance McMillen has been brave to return to school, and Itawamba County Agricultural High School in Fulton owes her, and all students an apology for their mishandling of this situation.  I can’t believe this kind of prejudice and stupidity exists in the modern world.

What price anonymity?

I’m feeling confused, I’ve just read two newspaper articles regarding legal proceedings and both had issues with the anonymity or the lack thereof for the criminals involved.  Before I move on I’ll let you see the quotes and link to the articles.

The first quotation is:

Mr Justice Keith handed down an indeterminate sentence on both boys in the Edlington case — ordering them to serve a minimum of five years in custody — but ruled that they should be granted anonymity for life and given new identities when they are freed, at a cost of around £2million a year.

The Telegraph – Edlington attacks: Parents of sadistic brothers may face inquiry

In this second article, the quotes are:

An employee at Blenheim Palace, Anita Donaldson, stole almost £150,000 pounds from the stately home to fund her lavish lifestyle, a court heard.

…

So far Donaldson has sold her house, her car and all of her valuables, as well as accepting money from family and friends to pay back £95,000 of the total £146,707 after reaching a civil agreement with Blenheim Estates.

…

Peter Lownds, Donaldson’s counsel, said: “She feels great remorse and regret.

“Her professional reputation is destroyed and she will never obtain work in that field for which she has qualified again. Her career is at an end.

“She has been doing some work, dog walking and cleaning, to get some money.”

He also said that during the time she was stealing, from November 2007 until July 2009, she was suffering from a depressive illness and had been receiving treatment.

The Telegraph – Blenheim Palace employee stole £150,000 from estate, court told

Now I fully understand that there are monumental differences between the severity of these two cases. I also understand the differences in the eyes of the law between children and adults. However, I am confused that a criminal who admits their crime, shows immediate remorse, seeks medical help for an underlying condition, and makes efforts to return the money which she stole (returning over 50% prior to the court appearance) can have her photograph and name published in the paper and on its website when at the same time a judge can grant £2million a year for life to ensure the anonymity, upon their eventual release, of the two young thugs who sadistically and perversely attempted to murder two young boys in a prolonged and sustained attack of violence and sexual assault, showed no remorse, and did not even try to lead the search efforts to the most seriously injured of their two victims.

I’m confused because one can be very certain that the two victims of the evil brothers will not receive £2million a year for life from the tax payer, unlike their attackers.  They will not receive state funded care and education valued at hundreds of thousands of pounds a year.  They will have to study, work, and get jobs with the terrible knowledge of what they suffered, and on top of that the more frightening knowledge that one day their attackers could be free, and protected by the state that failed to prevent the incident from happening.   Free, and given anonymity, new names, and the potential to meet their victims without their victims knowing who they are!

I’m confused because the second case is almost comical in comparison.  A sum of money is stolen and the criminal confesses when confronted.  She makes efforts to return what she can, raising funds by selling her own home, and car, and yet she still has her name widely publicised, her career ruined, and her future life forever marked by what when compared to the exploits of Wall Street bankers is the theft of a comparatively small sum of money.

So what price anonymity? Show no remorse, act as depraved as you can beneath a certain legal age limit and walk away from responsibility at the tax payers expense?  Commit fraud, do no direct physical harm, make efforts to set things right, and be damned forever? I don’t know about you but that doesn’t exactly sound like “justice”.

As I said at the start, I know these are two very different cases, but you cannot say the bullies of the first article didn’t know what they were doing was wrong, and if by some strange chance they did not I hope they are never released because they will be a serious threat to the general public.  While bullying of any nature is treated with kid gloves and the attackers right to anonymity continues to outway the victims right to not be forced to relive their experiences be having them published in every media outlet, then the victims are the only ones who will continue to suffer, and nothing will change.

—UPDATE—

Unfortunately my thoughts from yesterday have been reflected in the news today:

Their younger victim, aged 10, has told his mother: “I’m frightened they are going to get out and come and find me. They’re not going away for very long. They might want to finish it.”

His 12-year-old friend said: “Five years? Is that all? What will happen to us then?”

The Telegraph – Edlington torture attack victims live in fear

Bullying, too shocking for TV?

In a world where children’s television is awash with violent cartoons and karate chopping super heros, and where news reports frequently talk about children pushed to commit suicide by persistent bullies, it surprise me that this very simple, and direct advert is considered “too shocking for television”.

Reporting bullies to a responsible adult, or a group like Cybermentors.org.uk is the first step towards freedom from bullying.

Don’t be a silent victim, speak out against bullying.

Criminal school bullies

I read a fascinating story in The Telegraph last week, the headline was; Schoolboy is first convicted of racist harassment of classmate.

What shocked me the most was the incredibly short-sighted and insensitive words by David Green, director of Civitas, the right-leaning think-tank, who said that while the boy’s behaviour should be condemned,

“the law does not belong in the schoolyard in these cases”.

“We are not talking stabbings or serious assault here,” Dr Green said. “This should be a matter for the school and the children’s parents.”

Josie Appleton, director of the anti-regulation think-tank the Manifesto Club, which will publish a paper on schools’ obligations over racist incidents this autumn, did little better with her comments:

“This should be dealt with in the school.

“Criminalising it undermines the authority of schools. Teachers have to be able to set a moral example.”

Why does this anger me so?  I was a victim of bullying both physical and verbal/mental, and in all the different cases the school and the children’s parents failed to provide a suitable level of control or support.

It is interesting that “serious assault” gets mentioned because (having just spent half an hour reading up on the difference between ABH and GBH under British law) I was assaulted in a manner that would be legally considered grievous bodily harm.  My injuries lead to hospitalisation, surgery, and an absence from school of more than 6 months.  The bully in question was dealt with by the school, by which I mean he was suspended for the remainder of the afternoon and was back in class the following day.

As for verbal bullying, its effects are far more insidious. When the teachers refer to you as a wimp in your own hearing, and the bullies are told to “shake and make up”, all you find is that the bullies return with even greater vengeance later.  The girl spoke of her fear of reprisal if she spoke out, and this is common in most cases of bullying.  Expecting the school to provide the law, or for teachers to enforce the law as well as lead by example is farcical in a world where more and more legislation limits a teachers response, and frequently the uncontrollable pupils know just how far the law will support them in their misbehaviour. School is where a child learns to act in a social setting, and their experience here will impact their behaviour for the rest of their lives but if the child does not respond to kind words and gentle moral guidance and steps into the world of criminal behaviour then they should be held responsible for their actions.

Don’t think I am suggesting that every schoolyard infraction should be dealt with by the full force of the British legal system, but what is needed is a rational approach.  The children that bullied me were known to the teachers as bullies, and I was repeatedly told to forgive their actions because “their parents were getting divorced” or “they had had a tough upbringing”.  With words like this the school actively encourages the repeat offending by overlooking it and making allowances for the bullies behaviour.  Schools should be swift to react to first offences but where it is not a single incident of a word uttered in the playground or a push in the locker room, but a sustained series of attacks over days or weeks (or as in this case in Lincolnshire 6  months) then the law should be brought to bear.  Racial abuse, sexual harassment, and bullying in general is not legally permitted in the workplace so why should we allow it in the classroom?

Finishing off the comments made Sunil Khanna, the boy’s solicitor, said:

“I’m not sure a criminal prosecution was the right way forward.

“I know this goes beyond normal bullying, but mistakes that might have been down to youthful ignorance will now stick with him years.”

The conviction will pass for him, and will eventually fade from his criminal record, but his actions will have a lifelong impact on his victim.  He had the right to a trial, access to solicitors, and all the benefits of legal process to offer him support in defending his wrong doing but his victim had none of this as she walked the hallways of her school in fear of his racist attacks.  Speaking from personal experience I know that the psychological effects of the fear that she felt will last far longer than his criminal record, and will undoubtedly haunt her for the rest of her life.  I have suffered with panic attacks, fear of crowds, claustrophobia, and have even been diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder. The impact of the bullying I suffered still effects my everyday life more than 20 years later.

“Youthful ignorance” excuses an unkind word that is swiftly reprimanded, but prolonged bullying cannot be excused and the victims of bullies need to know that if they stand up and say to their school that they need help, then the school and if needed the law should be there to help them!

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Sticks and stones may break your bones, but emotional scars last a lifetime.

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