I am a tea drinking Englishman. This is a common fact, so common in fact that when I’m not at my desk at 4pm of an afternoon my collegues know to look in the kitchen to see if I am “at teatime”. In honour of what is one of my favourite beverages, and because it isn’t found in that many places these days I’d like to dedicate this post to the following two things… Firstly, a nice cup of really hot tea, and secondly, the comic wit of Bernard Cribbins
"RIGHT SAID FRED" by Bernard Cribbins Right said Fred, both of us together, one each end and steady as we go Tried to to shift it, couldn't even lift it, we was getting nowhere And so, we, had a cup of tea. Right said Fred, give a shout to Charlie, up comes Charlie from the floor below After straining, heaving and complaining, we was getting nowhere And so, we, had a cup of tea. Charlie had a think and he thought we ought, to take off all the handles And the things that hold the candles, but it did no good, well I never thought it would Right said Fred, have to take the feet off, to get them feet off wouldn't take a mo Took it's feet off, even with the seat off, should o' got us somewhere but no So Fred said lets have another cup of tea and we said right-o. Right said Fred, have to take the door off, need more space to shift the so and so Had bad twinges taking off the hinges, and it got us nowhere And so, we, had a cup of tea. Right said Fred, have to take the wall down, that there wall is gonna have to go Took the wall down, even with it all down, we was getting nowhere And so, we, had a cup of tea. Charlie had a think and and he said look Fred, I've got a sort of feeling If we remove the ceiling, with a rope or two we can drop the blighter though Right said Fred, climbing up a ladder, with his crowbar gave a mighty blow Was he in trouble, half a ton of rubble, landed on the top of his dome So Charlie and me had another cup of tea and then we went home. [spoken] I said to Charlie, we'll just have to leave it standin' on the landing thats all. You see the trouble with Fred is he's, he's too hasty, now you never get nowhere if you're too hasty.