Review – Burn Notice

I’m watching Burn Notice on USA Network.

The funny thing is that USA uses the tag line “Characters Welcome” but unfortunately in the case of this show we’re also looking for “Actors Wanted” and “Writers Wanted”.

We’ve all been there before where the show is so painfully bad that it is “good”.  This show is several steps beyond that point, passing straight through “Bad is Good” and back into WTF again.  I’ve never seen a show that contained so many completely unbelievable action set pieces with so little plot holding them together.

If you find you can’t wrestle your eyes and ears away from the networked car crash that is the show then you’ll find yourself looking on in shocked amazement as the romance between lead characters is displayed to you in 10 second soundbites written by someone who has possibly never spoken to another living person.

Pros

  • The hilariously bad, occasionally dangerous, and just down right silly “Do It Yourself” guides to the action.  In this show alone, the lead male has lovingly talked us through:
    • Destroying a car’s engine block with thermite and a coffee can.
    • How to blow the lock on a fire-escape to make an entrance.
    • The importance of cloning cars properly.
    • How to armor plate a car with phone-books!

Cons

  • The plots appear to have been written by a committee of Action B-movie fans via TXT message.
  • The dialogue seems to have been written by the least efficient TXT messages from the committee.
  • The unbelievable situations… just watch for a few minutes and you’ll see what I mean…
  • The teasers for future episodes that occur in the frequent commercial breaks contain as much plot as the show itself, so watch them and save yourself the time!

Overall, I’ll be generous and give it 2/10 because the stunt work is well performed even if it isn’t well scripted.  If you’re a Brit and remember the occaisional flights of fancy (almost every week) in Ultimate Force, this is several million times worse.  I know it is drama, but this is ridiculous!

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